Demons
by KindKelsey
Summary: All Lydia wants is to be perfect, Stiles does his best to convince her that she's perfect just the way she is. Stydia AU. Discusses eating disorders, please read with caution.


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 **Disclaimer: Just to clarify, I do _not_ own teen wolf or any of ****it's characters**

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 **One** : " _I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control. I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul._ "

Lydia is tired. She's tired of keeping secrets, of feeling useless, and of losing friends. She's tired of looking in the mirror and despising the person she has become. _Fat, worthless, alone_. Always unhappy and never ever enough, always failing pathetically.

Growing up Lydia's parents constantly pressured her to strive for perfection, and strive she did. She had the highest grades, the most friends, and the hottest boyfriend in beacon hills. Everything she did she excelled at, and everyone wanted to be like her. She was thriving, or at least she liked people to think she was.

Her relationship with Jackson had its ups and downs. Sometimes they were both happy and carefree and as close to being in love as either of them had ever been, other times they'd fight and argue until the conversation ended with a slammed door or tears. Jackson and her were two sides of the same coin, both obsessively trying to be better - to be perfect. But as much as they tried to be a picture perfect couple it got harder and harder to uphold the fragile facade.

 _"I've decided to drop some dead weight in my life, and you're just about the deadest."_ Lydia wasn't too proud to admit how those words had hurt her, especially since she knew they were true. But pretty girls don't cry, so that night as she lay in bed stifling sobs she convinced herself she would get _better_ and _skinnier_ and _smarter_ , and then he would be the one missing her.

* * *

It starts off small. She stops eating breakfast, and starts drinking water ten times a day to curb her apetite. Instead of having snacks she chews on ice cubes every few hours. She limits herself to 1000 calories a day and does crunches every night before bed.

Things continue this way for a while, Lydia eating not enough to fill her stomach but too much for her to lose a drastic amount of weight. She thinks that even if she did her mom would never realize, if anything she'd just be thankful Lydia wasn't so disgustingly fat anymore. When she's not counting calories or studying she has boys over: a stream of jocks that come and go (she never lets them hang around longer then a night.) Lydia likes the meaningless compliments and the emotionless one night stands.

One boy - green eyes, raven coloured hair, she can't remember if his name is Max or Marcus - stares at her as she dresses in the mirror one morning. His eyes are analyzing in a way that makes the strawberry blondes skin crawl. She feels fat and disgusting as she stares at her own reflection.

"What?" She finally snaps at him as he watches her put a lacy top on, a weak attempt to hide the rolls of fat on her body.

"Can I take you to breakfast?" Max/Marcus asks hopefully.

She pauses for a moment; none of them had ever asked her to breakfast before. But then she thinks of Jackson, and calories, and broken promises.

"No." She tells him, lathering her lips with red lipstick

* * *

Allison Argent is the first person to make Lydia laugh in a long time. She's the first true friend that Lydia has ever had. They gossip, shop at the mall, and paint each other's nails. It's nice to have someone to hang out with, and as much as Lydia tells herself not to get too close - she's _selfish_ and does it anyways.

Getting close to someone has its consequences, and it doesn't take Allison long to notice her friends lack of eating. Lydia wishes she could explain the situation to her friend, but Allison is skinny and perfect and everything she is not: so she doesn't bother trying.

"I think you need to talk to someone about this." Allison says one afternoon. The two girls are splayed across her bed flipping through magazines when Lydia's stomach growls.

Lydia flushes a deep shade of red, digging her nails into the palm of her hand - furious at her bodies betrayal. She'd been recently trying to cut back on calories even more, and her stomach hadn't yet gotten used to the smaller portions of food.

"There's nothing to talk about." Lydia says firmly, aggressively flipping the page in her magazine.

Allison looks at her worryingly, closing her magazine. "You're _killing_ yourself. Please; let me help you."

"It's getting late." Lydia says: feeling ill as she staggers to her feet. "My mom will want me to be home soon."

Her mom hasn't been home in four days and she doubts tonight will be different but there's certain things she can't share and she _doesn't_ think she can afford to lose Allison as a friend right now.

"Okay." Allison says, not trying to hide the disappointment in her tone. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The strawberry blonde stumbles out of the room, her legs feeling heavier with each step. Her mind swimming with excuses and apologies; _I'm sorry I'm not enough, I'm sorry I'm so disgusting._

Lydia doesn't end up having to use any of them though, because just hours later Allison would be pronounced dead.

 **To be continued...follow, favourite, and review please.**


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